What No One Tells You about Pregnancy –Thoughts for Thoughts

Now you might have clicked on this hoping I was going to impart some unknown tidbits of pregnancy knowledge on you. Well, I’m very sorry to disappoint you but this is not one of those “helpful I’m-the-only-one-who-knows-these-secrets-and-I-decided-to share” type of posts you can find on Pinterest. No, today, I’m sharing all the little nit-picky whiny things that no one tells you about pregnancy. (Or at least no one told me about)

Everything no one tells you about pregnancy divulged!!

 

What No One Tells You about Pregnancy

1) Your pregnancy could be the opposite of everything you’ve been told. When they say that every pregnancy is different, they’re not kidding. When I found out I was pregnant, I was expecting morning sickness for days, swollen feet, loss of appetite, the whole nine yards. Aaaaaaandd I have yet to experience any of those things. To be honest, even though it makes being pregnant a lot easier, the absence of the “normal” symptoms has its flaws. You know, like other pregnant mamas giving you the death stare and that whole “I’m really pregnant” thing not sinking in until, say, Month 7.

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2) Sometimes you’ll get irrationally angry at your husband.  Like smother-him-with-a-pillow-while-he-snores-and-you’re-still-tossing-and-turning type angry. I’ve heard this lapse in sanity continues into the delivery room where you suddenly realize that your sweet adorable husband is actually the sole cause of you pushing a 7-lb human out of your private parts. So yeah, maybe the dad should get the push present.

3) Old wives tales LIE!!! Case in point, our gender predictions (boy) vs reality (girl). So don’t be like me and start buying gender-specific things before the anatomy scan.

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4) You might not feel “oh so gorgeous”.  No. No, no. Most likely you’ll feel like a whale. A large blubbering whale who can’t see her feet…or her knees….or pretty much anything past her now not-so-innie belly button. Actually if I’m being honest, I can’t see anything past my boobs–which the doctor labeled as “very voluptuous”…..honestly, I think she was putting it mildly. I’m pretty much feeling the opposite of gorgeous and sexy right now. And don’t get me started on comparing myself to all the other pregnant gals out there! (But seriously, how IS she that small at 30 weeks?????)

5) What is the deal with all the naked belly bumps???? When you’re pregnant, it’s pretty much expected to bare your belly (see the photo #1  above). Heck, I’ve seen baby bump photos on blogs where the lovely mama-to-be is wearing nothing but a sports bra and undies. I’m really happy for all those mamas out there who feel confident enough to “bare the bump” buuuuuuut I don’t get it. I mean, this thing is like a beach ball attached to you, we can definitely see it without any extra nudity involved. #myopinion Also see #4 about not feeling like Miss America whilst pregnant.

6) Time goes by too fast. ‘Oh hey, I’m pregnant!’ quickly becomes ‘Oh sh**, I’m due in like a month’ in a hot minute. And no matter how chill you are normally, the realization that your baby could be making an appearance anytime is enough to give you major anxiety.

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7) You’ll never feel prepared enough. The husband actually bestowed this little nugget of wisdom on me the other day in the middle of one of my freak-out moments. I, of course, was getting all overwhelmed by all the little details–you know, what you need to buy, what you need to pack for the hospital, what to do with the dog while you’re in the hospital, what to put on the birth plan, what to do if something goes wrong, and, most importantly, what the heck to do when the hospital tells you the shrieking, pooping 6-lb little person in your arms is now completely your responsibility. And, Zach made me put away all my lists and notes and, let’s be honest, sheer panic to tell me that no matter how prepared I actually am, I’ll probably never feel prepared enough. And that’s ok–because pretty much all parents are just winging it.

8) Being pregnant is only the beginning of another great adventure. 

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Let’s Talk:

Alright, mamas, what’s one thing you were “never told” that you think should be added to this list?

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  • Jen

    I agree with number one, I never had morning sickness or other pregnancy symptoms. For most of my first trimester, in all my pregnancies, I’m like “am I really pregnant?” Until one day: belly. I guess we should just be thankful for that 😉

    • That actually makes me feel better–I’ve been starting to feel that everyone has all the pregnancy symptoms except me! And then one day–big baby bump, like you said! I do feel lucky that I’ve had it “fairly easy” so far. Glad to hear your pregnancy has been going well too! 🙂

  • With my first child, I never had morning sickness, barely gained 30 pounds total, and my feet actually SHRANK during my pregnancy! This second one, I feel super blah, had morning sickness, am so tired, and have really bad headaches. Great. Haha. But, I totally agree with the naked maternity pictures…it’s just weird!

    • I’m going to just say you’re having a girl then! 😉 I’d like everyone to publicly know that I called it in advance. My pregnancy has been the total opposite this time, from the beginning, and I kept saying it was a girl from basically day one. 😉

      • I’m definitely crossing my fingers!!!!

    • See I’d have to agree with Amberly on having a girl this time but your “boy” symptoms from Rhys are exactly how I’m feeling now!!! So now I’m just confused and don’t dare guess haha! 🙂 Hope you feel better though!

  • i am all about those naked maternity pictures! i have totally posted one of me in my bikini on my blog 🙂 i don’t necessarily feel all that confident and definitely don’t feel gorgeous most times BUT i do think it’s absolutely incredible that behind this large belly is a BABY! it’s insane to me. pregnancy is so weird that i do feel it must be documented because WHAT!

    also i felt like total crap the entire first 4 months and now as i enter into my third trimester – the tiredness and so many new aches are with me constantly. booooo

    • Oh I absolutely don’t mind bikini photos with the bump or even the occasional naked bump selfie! I guess I’m just not a fan of the absolutely naked maternity photos I’ve seen people post! And I agree it’s weird that a Baby is in there–but so fun especially when she’s active. 🙂

      Aw I’m sorry you haven’t been feeling well though. 🙁 The aches and pains are real!!

  • This post is so great! Good for Zach for talking you down. You’re going to be great parents!

  • Even worse than what no one tells you about pregnancy is all the stuff no one tells you about labor!

    • Oof…yeeaaah….I’m trying really hard not to think about that!!! What are the chances an easy pregnancy leads to easy labor LOL??

  • I fully admit I’m a prude but I hate seeing bare belly bumps too….